One of the most effective tools you can add to your performance improvement arsenal is to become an active listener. Notice I said “active listener.” Studies show the average person will only remember somewhere between 25-50 percent of what he or she is hearing. Those are startling percentages when you consider how much time you spend each day listening to others, and sharing your words of wisdom as well. If you’re hearing only 50 percent of what your boss, spouse or friend is saying, your ability to respond effectively is severely limited.

If how you perform your job or how you manage key relationships is important to you, then improving your ability to actively listen is a skill you’ll want to improve upon.

Here are three ways to become a more active listener:

1. Practice the skill of active listening.

This will involve a little self-discipline, but the payoff will be huge. In your next conversation, make a concerted effort to hear not only the words being spoken but also listen for the complete message being sent.

This means you’ll have to learn to block out what else may be going on around you. Most of us are too easily distracted. Whether other conversations are going on around us, or we’re looking at the pictures in someone’s office or cubicle, it’s way too easy to lose focus on the conversation at hand. Focus is the key. Maintain great eye contact and take in both the words and the larger meaning of the conversation.

Active listening will also force us to break the nasty habit of preparing a pithy response to what’s being said. This may be the single most common barrier to becoming a more active listener.

2. Be physically engaged in what the speaker is saying.

Eye contact is critical but so are facial expressions to show you’re listening. Nod every now and then. Tell the speaker you understand the message. If not, share that as well. Simply saying, “Let me make sure I understand what you just said,” will go a long way in maintaining the objective of being actively involved in the conversation. Smiling at appropriate points will also help the speaker know you’re really listening. In other words, provide feedback to the speaker.

3. Defer judgment on what’s being said until you’re sure you fully understand the full context of the message.

Maybe the right words or correct terms aren’t being used, but allow the speaker to finish anyway. Put your personal opinions aside for the moment and just take in the information. Constantly interrupting or editorializing are real conversation killers. Avoid both at all costs.

Becoming an active listener is one of the best ways I know of for boosting your performance and productivity. Most of us are as verbal as we are visual. We spend our day in multiple conversations, many of which are critical to our personal or professional growth and well-being. Increasing our ability to become active listeners, and significantly increase our understanding of what others are really saying, can only improve performance and, more importantly, build relationships.