Conflict resolution is an important part of a manager’s job. Miscommunication can take a contentious situation to a whole new level. To improve communication and defuse conflict, use the following technique, sometimes referred to as reframing, as a time-tested method for working through difficult issues.
When conflict raises its ugly head, step back, take a deep breath and ask the following questions:
Do I fully understand the situation? Do I have all the facts or just one side of the story? Always get as many sides of a story as possible before taking action, or taking sides.
Am I sure I know what the other person is saying? Experts say that fifty percent of communication is listening. Active listening means you’re engaged in the conversation and you fully understand what’s being said.
Is the person angry at me, or simply worried, anxious or confused? We all handle stress differently. Make sure you understand the thinking behind the emotions.
Have I missed something important? Ask clarifying questions. A question like: “Help me understand what you mean by…” Clarifying who, what, when, why and how is almost always critical to making a good decision.
What’s the real issue here? Asking good questions and probing a little deeper into a situation is critical to conflict resolution. There’s always just a little more information below the surface.
How do I want to react to this situation? Not every conflict will need your direct intervention. Teaching these reframing techniques can go a long way in helping your team learn to resolve conflict themselves.
How would I want to be treated if the situation were reversed? A little empathy can go a long way. Take a little time to put yourself in the other person’s shoes. There is some ancient wisdom that goes something like: ” Do unto others as you would have others do unto you.”
By “reframing” a contentious situation, you force yourself to more effectively and constructively deal with conflict within the workplace.
Action Items:
Here are a few actions to take when you’re faced with conflict or a contentious situation:
1. Remember the value of not letting emotions control your actions.
2. Utilize the formula E + R = O which stands for Event + Response = Outcome. You may not be able to control the event, but you can control your response to the event.
3. Get the facts! Don’t let assumptions or innuendo drive your behavior.
4. Mix in a large portion of empathy when looking for a recipe to resolve conflict. Assume the concerns surrounding the conflict may be genuine.
5. Work cooperatively to resolve contentious issues. Make conflict resolution a team effort.
Tags: actions, communication, conflict, contentious, emotions, manager, reframing, resolve, response
